The Forman Bunch Variety Show (Spoof)

From That 70’s Show
Air Date: October 10, 2000

Taped:January 18-19, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Cast: Kitty Foreman (Deborah Jo Rupp), Red Foreman (Kurtwood Smith), Eric Foreman (Topher Grace), Laurie Foreman (Lisa Robin Kelley), Steven Hyde (Danny Masterson), Donna Pinciotti (Laura Prepon), Michael Kelso (Ashton Kutcher), Fez (Wilmer Valderrama)
Guests: Shirley Jones, Charo, and Spiro Papadatos as “Gene Simmons”
Also appearing:Van Snowden, The Krofftettes and Water Follies

Synopsis:
Amidst family bickering, the Foremans settle down together for an evening of television. Kitty has baked a Bundt Cake, and suggests they watch The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. Red snaps back by saying “Who the hell gave those people an entire hour!” Kitty brags that the Guest Stars are Charo and the rock band Kiss. The Foremans then start creating fictional episodes of The Brady Bunch in order to insult each other. Laurie storms out in anger followed by Eric and Steve, and Red leaves shouting “This show is crap!” Kitty then fantasizes about the Foremans having their very own Variety Show!

The Foreman Bunch opens its Variety Hour with a rendition of “I Got the Music In Me.” Eric and Steve inform their mom that they’ve decided to run away from home, Red leaves the stage cheering. In the meantime, Laurie is caught making out with Shields & Yarnell. Kitty wants to know who will take care of the boys and Shirley Jones appears. Eric and Steve reveal their intentions to become part of The Partridge Family, and “nail Susan Dey.” Shirley Jones explains to Kitty that the boys are leaving because she “chose to be a bad mother.” Laurie begs to join too but is rejected by Shirley Jones for being a “whore.” Charo then appears and annoys Kitty with her “hoochie coochie.”

Back in real life, Kitty vows that she won’t let the boys leave home, and laments “this show is crap!”

Later in the episode, a Gene Simmons impersonator has a cameo, and at the end Charo, Gene, and Kitty return to the Variety Hour and sing “Sunrise, Sunset.”

Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour (Spoof)

The Simpson’s Spinoff Showcase and/or
The Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour

Air Date:May 11, 1997
Written by David S. Cohen, Dan Greaney, and Steve Tompkins
Directed by Neil Affleck
Featuring the voice of Pamela Hayden as “Lisa”

Webmaster’s Note: Simpsons composer Alf Clausen got his start on television working for Sid & Marty Krofft as a musical director for The Donny and Marie Show. This may partially explain the inspiration for this spoof. The fake “Lisa” is a combination of Geri Reischl, who replaced Eve Plumb as Jan on The Brady Bunch Hour, and the replacement Becky on Roseanne.

Synopsis:
Voted the 19th best episode of The Simpsons by Entertainment Weekly – February 7, 2003

simpsons74.JPG (48235 bytes)Troy McClure hosts this special episode of The Simpsons featuring three possible “Simpsons” spinoffs: “Chief Wiggum P.I.”, “The Love-Matic Grandpa”, and “The Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour”.

simpsons3.JPG (51101 bytes)McClure is seen walking down a hallway of the “Museum of TV and Television”, on the walls are large posters depicting numerous television shows. He stops at one of these from the 1970’s program “Fish” and proclaims the excitement of the television spinoff. McClure explains that the network had been meeting with Simpsons producers about spinoff ideas to fill vacancies in the programming lineup, thus transplanting already popular characters into new locales and situations.

simpsons11.JPG (50175 bytes)In the final spinoff of the Showcase, McClure explains that “the Simpson family finally gets the chance to show off the full range of their talents. Unfortunately one family member didn’t want that chance and refused to participate. But thanks to some creative casting, you won’t even notice.” (Note: Obvious reference to Eve Plumb.)

simpsons12.JPG (58561 bytes)”Live from Radio City Music Room in downtown Springfield, it’s ‘The Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour!’ Featuring the Waylon Smithers Dancers and the Springfield Baggy-Pants Players…and now, a family that doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘cancelled’, the Simpsons!” (Note: Obvious reference to The Brady Bunch, “The family that won’t go away”.)

simpsons22.JPG (56046 bytes)The Simpson family runs onstage, wearing coordinated 70s-era outfits, and sing “Come Along and Bring the Family.” The opening number is interrupted when Homer turns up missing, but he is soon found curled up in the orchestra pit hiding from the “special ghost”. Marge explains that their special GUEST is Tim Conway, who then walks in to shake hands with Homer.

simpsons36.JPG (51711 bytes)As the stage splits apart into three sections, Homer and Marge stand on the center piece as it rolls forward. Marge explains that the family has been busy as beavers getting the show ready, and Homer wonders what it would be like if the family really were beavers. (Note: Viewers will notice a spoof on a caricature regularly seen on the old Sonny & Cher Show.)

simpsons38.JPG (54425 bytes)Marge and Homer are then seen living in a beaver dam and wearing beaver costumes. Lots of beaver jokes with much canned laughter. Homer comes home from his work nibbling down trees. Marge prepares his favorite for dinner- (wooden) “stakes”. Bart enters and makes a bad beaver joke- “Hey, could you two close the dam door?”. The fake-Lisa notes Maggie has grown her first tooth, a buck tooth. The doorbell rings, it is Tim Conway dressed in a skunk costume. Everyone faints. (Note: In The Brady Bunch Hour, guest stars would often make their first appearance at the Brady’s home by ringing the doorbell.)

simpsons50.JPG (54448 bytes)The next sketch involves a 1950’s soda shop. (Note: A 1950’s sketch also appeared in the Pilot episode of The Brady Bunch Hour.) Marge asks Homer what is still pure and good about the world, he replies “Candy!”. The orchestra then begins to play the music number “I Want Candy!”.

simpsons56.JPG (58378 bytes) This segues into “The Peppermint Twist” where Bart, “Lisa”, and Maggie and dance on huge pieces of peppermint candy. Jasper appears and sings the 1960’s “Lollipop Song” and accidentally launches his dentures into the air while trying to make that finger popping sound inside his mouth. Waylon Smithers then performs a rendition of Devo’s “Whip It” while dressed as a cowboy and uses his whip to pop a bubble Selma is blowing. This leads into a big dancing finale and reprise of “I Want Candy!”. At the conclusion, the family pants from exhaustion.

simpsons70.JPG (51257 bytes)Hans Moleman, of Hans’ Poetry Corner, then appears a recites a strange poem about his cataracts. Conway appears again in his skunk costume and says “And they thought I stunk”.

simpsons72.JPG (55500 bytes)The Simpsons then address the studio audience from an enormous bed, Tim Conway surprises them by appearing from under the covers. They say goodnight and everyone but Conway engages in a pillow fight.

Episode 8

This Episode Guide written by Tony Hill (used by permission)
Air Date:May 25, 1977
Taped:April 5-6, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Guests:Paul Williams, Lynn Anderson, Rip Taylor
Also appearing:Steve Bluestein, The Krofftettes and Water Follies

Synopsis:
Opening number, “I Got Love” (Geld/Udell) (all)

The Bradys discuss the impact of love.

(Commercial break)

Musical number, “We Got Us” (Marks) (all)

Merrill engages in banter with Peter, covering some seriously corny jokes.

Musical number, “Me and My Shadow” (Jolson/Rose/Dreyer) (Peter and Merrill)

(Commercial break)

Jan gives a glowing, raving, personally ambitious introduction of Lynn Anderson. Greg warns her she’s probably making Lynn nervous. Jan says “here’s a singer who’s not too bad.”

Musical number, “Right Time of the Night” (McCann) (Lynn Anderson)

Jan and Greg introduce the following sketch.

Merrill begs Alice for a date. She acquiesces. Alice is upset because she dusted the top of the mantle because she thought Esther Williams, not Paul, was coming over. Greg wants to pitch songs to Paul much to Marcia’s consternation. Paul shows up. He’s struck by Carol and says she’s even prettier in person than on TV. He declares his love for her. The kids are agitated.

(Commercial break)

Peter does the bumper.

(Commercial break)

Mike introduces the following sketch:

Mike confronts Paul about his profession of love for Carol. Cindy asks Paul why he loves Carol. Paul says Carol’s a foxy lady. Mike, becoming restless, says he knew himself that when he married Carol. Paul suggests he (Paul) and Carol could get married in the swimming pool on the show. He offers Carol a piece of jewelry which belonged to his grandmother, another foxy lady. Carol takes it. Paul leaves. Mike says Paul is a lunatic. Lynn Anderson shows up. Jan is agog and hounds her for autographs. Lynn tells Mike and Carol that she just met Paul Williams outside and that he told her he loves her. Lynn shows them a piece of his grandmother’s jewelry that Paul gave her.

Dissolve to:

Peter is already in the pool so Greg cannot push him in, Greg convinces Peter to come out. Peter introduces Paul Williams while joking with Greg about Paul’s diminutive stature. Paul pushes Peter into the pool and then Greg. He introduces himself as the “big” and multi-talented Paul Williams.

Musical number, “The Hell of It” (Williams) (Paul Williams)

(Commercial break)

Musical number, “Born to Say Goodbye” (Gordon) (Carol and her disembodied head)

(Note: Florence Henderson’s contemporaneous recording of this song is available on “The Brady Bunch” CD on MCA. Also, another song about goodbye since this was the last show.)

Dissolve to:

Paul Williams introduces a sketch about “The Columbus Bunch” – history’s answer to “The Brady Bunch.” The Bunch lives in 15th century Genoa. Mike sets out to prove the world is round. Merill is hysterical as the King of Spain, Alice plays the Queen.

(Commercial break)

Finale:

“Music Music Music” (Weiss/Baum) (Mike & Carol)
“What Have They Done to My Song, Ma” (Safka) (Marcia)
“The Sweetest Sounds” (Rodgers) (Carol)
“Music Is My Life” (Gordon) (Greg)
“Hey Mr. Melody” (Yancy/Jackson) (Jan)
“The Music Goes Round and Round” (Hodgson/Riley/Farley) (Alice & Merrill)
“An Old Fashioned Love Song” (Williams) (Paul Williams)
“Piano Man” (Joel) (Brady Kids)
“I Believe in Music” (Davis) (all)

(Commercial break)

The Bradys say goodnight. Carol imitates Porky Pig and says “D-D-D-D-D That’s All Folks!” (And, as it would turn out, goodbye.)

The Bradys sing “United We Stand” (Hiller/Simmons)

Episode 7

Air Date:April 25, 1977
Taped:March 29-30, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Guests:The What’s Happenin’ Kids, Rip Taylor, Rick Dees
Also appearing:Patty Maloney, Mike Kagen, Bruce Vilanch

Synopsis:
Opening number, “Get Ready” (Robinson) (all)

Greeting sketch in which the Bradys decribe the Water Follies and Krofftettes- who they are and what they do. The guests are introduced.

(Commercial break)

Musical number, “Walk Right In” (Cannon/Woods) (Mike, Carol, Greg, Peter, Marcia)

Curtain closes. Mike and Carol look through her old high school year book. The two wonder how it is different for the Brady kids going to school at the ABC television studio.

Dissolve to:

The Brady kids lament on how much they hate school, especially at the studio. Merrill enters ringing a school bell, he is their substitute teacher. Bobby teases him. The What’s Happenin’ kids show up because their classroom is closed for the week. They join the Brady kids. A studio guard enters carrying a very angry woman he believes to be a Brady child, instead it turns out to be a little person (midget) and the mother of four children. Cindy assures the guard she is not a child but an actress by the name of Patty Maloney. Peter invites the What’s Happenin’ kids to be on the Brady Bunch Hour. Bobby says for them to come over to the Brady house to discuss the details. Rerun asks what’s for dinner and Dee makes some sarcastic jokes about his weight. Merrill begins teaching a lesson about Lana Turner.

(Commercial break)

Greg says someone else besides him is going to sing (the audience applauds). After fighting with the audience, Greg tells them to shut up. He introduces Alice. No one applauds. Greg says they can clap now. Much applause.

Musical number, “Thank God I’m A Country Girl (Boy)” (Denver) (Alice and characters from the world of Sid & Marty Krofft).

Alice says that when she took the job on this show, she said she wouldn’t sing. Now having tried it, she finds it to be fun. Alice then invites the audience to see what took place when the What’s Happenin’ kids showed up at the Brady house.

Dissolve to:

Peter asks everyone if they have any ideas about what to do on the show. They all try to decide what famous character they want to be. Cindy wants to be Snow White and have the others be the Seven Dwarfs. Dee says “Good luck passing off Rerun as a dwarf.” Jan says they should drink an imaginary potion to become their fantasy character. Rerun says “I’ll drink it!”, Dee replies with “That figures.” Rerun pretends to drink the potion and becomes Muhammed Ali, Dee says maybe he should be the Astrodome. Rerun then decides to be OJ Simpson and starts leaping over the furniture. Jan becomes Julie Andrews, Bobby says he thought she was Jerry Lewis. Dewayne then becomes Muhammed Ali. Roger wants to be Pat Boone. Peter dives off the sofa and says he’s a Water Folly. Dewayne asks what that is. Dee says “Something that rolls around on the floor and acts DUMB.” When Bobby asks Dee what she wants to be, she asks if she can be head of the network. When the reply is yes, she says, “Good, because you’re all cancelled!” Roger becomes “Reverend Ike”, Cindy is Mary Tyler Moore, Peter is the Six Million Dollar Man.

Bobby and Dee sit on the sofa doing nothing. Mike and Carol enter and ask what is going on. Jan reports they have asked the What’s Happenin’ kids to be on the show, Mike becomes nervous and says he’ll drive the kids home because it is getting late. Cindy asks if she can go, Dee replies “You could if Fred (Rerun) wasn’t going, he takes up half the back seat.” When they are alone, Carol tells the Brady kids that their friends can’t be on the show this week because the guests have already been booked. She chooses Peter to break the bad news.

(Commercial break)

Marcia and Carol welcome every one back for the second half of the show. Marcia says it will be much better than the first half, which was “depressing”. Carol feels sorry for Peter who had to tell the What’s Happenin’ kids they couldn’t be on the show and invites everyone to see what happened.

Dissolve to:

Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy are dreading their meeting with the What’s Happenin’ kids. Peter can’t decide how to tell them they won’t be on the show. Alice comments about the depressing atmosphere. The kids arrive and demonstrate some humorous imitations of the Bradys they would like to do on the show, Peter then explains that they can’t do them. Roger, Dee, Dewayne and Rerun are upset at the news and get up to leave the house. Peter panics and says he’ll find a way to get them on the show.

Filled with sudden inspiration, and a bright idea, Peter displays an evil smirk.

Dissolve to:

Greg asks Peter if he wants to be pushed in the pool before or after he introduces Rick Dees. Peter says he is not being pushed in the pool, and calls in the What’s Happenin’ kids. Peter says they can be on the show by being pushed in the pool instead of him. Dee is not amused and neither are the others. They gang up on Peter and push him in. Greg laughs. They all introduce Rick Dees.

Musical number, “Dis-Gorilla” (Dees) (Rick Dees)

(Commercial break)

Skit involving the Grand Opening of “Merrilino’s House of Perfect Pizza”. Bobby is working for Mr. Merrill and asks him when he will be able to play the piano. Several customers arrive, including Mike & Carol. Mike notes that Bobby is dressed as a waitor, Carol is annoyed and reminds Merrill they are there to watch Bobby play not watch him serve pizza. Merrill introduces “Bobby Pepperoni” the piano player. Two more customers arrive, a very big man and a very tiny woman. Merill makes a scarcastic remark and is kicked in the ankle.

The two customers talk extremely loud, Carol asks Merill to have them be quiet. Merill is afraid of the guy and refuses. The man yells insults at Bobby, Carol asks Mike to do something about it. Mike is also afraid. More insults are hurled at Bobby. Carol stands up to the two and tells them off. The guy approaches Mike and threatens him. A pizza is dropped in Carol’s lap, Carol smashes a pizzza into the guys chest. Mike smashes another pizza over his head, and the bully begins to cry. Carol notes that he is a big coward, Mike claims that he merely met his match.

The rest of the Brady kids show up, Merill yells at them for being late. A trashy-looking man dressed in leather tells the Bradys to shut up so he can hear the piano player, Mike gets up to confront him. The guy busts the table in half and says “shut-up” again. Mike cowers back to the Brady table and notes the guy wants to hear Bobby play. Bobby is featured playing the end of Maple Leaf Rag by Joplin. Much applause.

Dissolve to:

Musical Number, “This Masquerade” (Russell) (Carol)

(Commercial break)

Carol tells Mike that the kids are saving their energy for the Finale about “Disco Songs” so it is up to the two of them to make the introduction. Mike says they do not have more energy than the kids, Carol replies that since they have six children the kids must think they’re bionic.

“Turn the Beat Around” (Jackson/Jackson) (Jan et al)
“Those Were the Days” (Raskin) (Mike & Carol)
“Enjoy Yourself With Me” (Gamble/Huff) (Greg)
“Disco Duck” (Dees) (Rick Dees)
“Tangerine” (Mercer/Schertzinger) (Alice & Merrill)
“Dancing Machine” (Davis/Fletcher/Parks) (What’s Happenin’ Kids)
“Disco Lucy- ‘I Love Lucy Theme'” (Daniel/Adamson) (Bradys)
“You Make Me Feel Like Dancing” (Sayer/Poncia) (all)

Carol says there is a man holding a card up saying that it is the end of another show. Peter asks why he gets pushed in the pool every week, Greg says because the man holding up the cue cards says to do it. Marcia warns them that the man is holding up another card. Jans notes that it says “Thank the chests??” (idiot) Mike says it is “Thank the guests”. Bobby says to thank John Stearwald for holding up the cards.

The Bradys sing “United We Stand.” (Hiller/Simmons)

Episode 6

Air Date:April 4, 1977
Taped:March 15-16, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Guests:Redd Foxx, Robert Heyges, the Ohio Players
Also appearing:Sharon Baird and the characters from the World of Sid & Marty Krofft

Synopsis:
Opening number, “Celebrate” (Gordon/Bonner) (all)

Greeting sketch in which the Bradys celebrate the start of Spring. Redd Foxx shows up and explains he’ll be observing the show to get ideas for his own variety program on the ABC network.

(Commercial break)

Musical number, “If My Friends Could See Me Now” (Coleman/Fields) (all)

Dissolve to:

Alice and Merrill discuss Spring, and how Marcia met a new “young dude”. Redd Foxx comes in and tells them to let the audience see what happened.

Dissolve to:

Cindy and Bobby are coming home from roller skating, Cindy is furious with Bobby for screwing up her date with a boy at school and when Bobby says “It was nothing!” Cindy yells “YOU’RE NOTHING!” Bobby thinks the guy is a creep. Cindy calls Bobby a “dumbo” for ruining things. Mike explains to Bobby that Cindy is upset because she’s turning into a woman. Carol reflects that only yesterday she was explaining to Cindy the bumps in her Barbie doll. Alice comes home and avoids saying where she’s been, Merrill rings the doorbell because Alice forgot her purse. Peter, Mike, and Carol suspect some kind of romance is going on, although Alice denies it. Greg and Jan then return. Jan is angry because she doesn’t have a boyfriend and Greg has to drive her home.

Marcia arrives and introduces someone, a 70’s pothead by the name of Winston Beaumont, and announces they are engaged to be married.

(Commercial break)

Musical number, “Southern Nights” (Toussaint) (Jan, Greg, Marcia)

Dissolve to:

Cindy asks Peter if she is pretty, and Peter responds in the affirmative taking special note of her eyes. Peter tells Cindy she’s turning into a woman because she doesn’t make any sense. Cindy takes note of the turkey Marcia brought home, Redd Foxx enters and asks who’s she calling a turkey. Redd explains that he’s just observing. Cindy asks him why the USA has never had a black president, Redd explains that the father of the country was black and what white person would name their child George Washington? Peter asks who would name their kid Winston Beaumont? Redd asks what ever happened to that freak? Peter invites everyone to see what happened.

Dissolve to:

Mike and Carol converse with Marcia and Winston about their plans to get married. Mike asks if they can talk with Marcia alone and Winston leaves for the evening. Mike and Carol forbid Marcia to marry Winston, Marcia becomes defiant and asserts that “I’ll marry him whether you like it or not!” (gasps from the studio audience).

Dissolve to:

The next morning, Mike and Carol are eating breakfast. Alice says Winston can’t be that bad and suggests they give him a second look, Carol then makes some suggestive comments about Alice and Merrill. Merrill barges in and professes his love for Alice in a melodramatic manner, Alice insists there is nothing between the two of them. Merrill is humiliated and rushes out. Alice notes what if that were Marcia rushing out so upset, Mike and Carol then agree to give Winston a second chance. Merrill pokes his head through the kitchen window and asks if it worked. Mike and Carol then realize that Alice and Merrill have been putting on an act that will convince them to reconsider Marcia’s engagement.

(Commerical break)

Mike and Carol welcome everyone to the second half the show. Mike scolds those who are just tuning in for being a half-hour late. They review the situation with Marcia. Redd Foxx appears and says that Winston could be worse. Carol explains that they agreed to meet Winston again and to invites the audience to see what happened next.

Dissolve to:

Winston is out on the beach with Peter. Marcia is looking for him in the house. The other Brady kids profess their dislike for Winston. Peter and Winston return, Winston has been telling Peter all sorts of things about baseball and he is very impressed. Marcia suspects that something strange is going on and asks Winston to talk with her out on the patio. Marcia confronts Winston with how he has been contradicting himself and calls him a fake. She notes that everyone who talks to him is right about everything. Winston admits that he says and does whatever is necessary for people to like him. Marcia gently calls off the engagement and asks him to call her when he figures out who he is.

Dissolve to:

Peter begs Greg to push him in the pool. Greg refuses. Peter starts screaming to be pushed into the pool. Greg refuses again. Peter becomes desperate and Greg pushes him into the pool. Then Redd Foxx comes out and pushes Greg into the pool. Redd introduces The Ohio Players.

Musical number, “Fire” (The Ohio Players)

(commercial break)

Musical number, “How Lucky Can You Get” (Ebb/Kander) (Carol)

Dissolve to:

Redd Foxx explains in an extended monologue why he would never be able to have his own variety show.

Dissolve to:

Mike, Carol, Greg, Marcia, and Peter introduce the Finale about Spring. They are all holding flowers, Greg complains that he has only one carnation and Marcia has a whole bunch of roses. Peter says all he has is an onion, Carol explains that it’s a flower bulb.

“Singing In the Rain” (Brown/Freed) (Instrumental/Krofftette Dancers)
“April Showers” (De Sylva/Silvers) (Mike and Carol)
“I Never Promised You A Rose Garden” (South/Harris) (Jan)
“Spring Will Be A Little Late This Year” (Loesser) (Carol)
“Paper Roses” (Spielman/Torre) (Marcia and the Brady Kids)
“Tip Toe Through the Tulips” (Burke/Dubin) (Alice and Merrill)
“Stop and Smell the Roses” (Davis/Severinsen) (Greg)
“I Hear Laughter in the Rain” (Sedaka) (all)

(Commercial break)

Carol is glad are things are back to normal, Mike asks Marcia how it feels to be single again. Greg and Peter thank themselves for being the guests. Mike is annoyed and thanks the real guests. Bobby thanks Knuckles Nunzzio. Bobby explains he was offered a dollar to say his name on the air, Carol leads the entire family in saying his name and asks Knuckle for eight dollars.

The Bradys say goodnight.

The Bradys sing “United We Stand” (Hiller/Simmons)

Episode 5

This Episode Guide written by Tony Hill (used by permission)

Air Date:March 28, 1977
Taped:March 8-9, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Guests:Rich Little, Edgar Bergen, Melanie
Also appearing:Van Snowden, and characters from the world of Sid & Marty Krofft

Synopsis:
Musical number (without Marcia), “I’ve Got the Music in Me” (Boshell) Note: Maureen McCormick does not appear, but her voice is on the soundtrack. If you listen closely, you will hear Maureen’s solos coming out of Susan Olsen’s mouth.

Greg suggests the family make a movie. The others suggest possible titles. The Bradys then fight over who will play what part.

(commercial break)

The Bradys (once again without Marcia), dressed as scarecrows, sing “Consider Yourself” (Bart), assisted by a bird of the Krofft family known as “Cher Crow” which is a parody of Cher.

Jan, Bobby, and Cindy move in front as the curtain closes to do a sketch introducing Edgar Bergen. Jan and Cindy can’t pronounce “ventriloquist”. Bergen teaches the kids how to say things without moving their lips. Bergen then uses Bobby as a dummy. Finally, Bergen does a sketch with Mortimer Snerd.

(commercial break)

Merrill introduces this sketch: The Bunch rehearses Rich Little’s introduction. The kids are in the pool. Merrill introduces Rich Little. He dives into the pool and collides with Cindy. He now as amnesia.

Dissolve to:

Back home, Cindy is feeling guilty about Little’s amnesia. Little’s wife calls from Canada where she’s visiting Rich’s parents. Marcia suddenly appears in the episode, and Bobby makes jokes about Cindy’s head. Alice and Little return to the Brady house together, and Little cannot remember anything. Little then runs through various impersonations in an effort to find out who he is. Little grabs Cindy and shakes her violently at one point. Mike continually tries to persuade Little to lie down, Carol laments about the situation.

(commercial break)

Bergen and Charlie McCarthy introduce this sketch: Mike works on architecture while Carol watches. Alice reports that Little is keeping Greg awake. Cindy is still agonizing about the accident. Little comes in. He thinks Mike and Carol are his parents.

Dissolve to:

Little and the Brady children play a game. Merrill shows up pretending to be a shrink. He examines Little. Little gets the idea to swim in the ocean. Mike drags him back in. Little’s memory has returned. Having been bumped by Little’s dive, Merrill thinks he’s a Brady child.

Dissolve to:

Peter says he doesn’t want Melanie to see him get thrown in the pool. Instead, Greg and Peter throw Mike in the pool. They introduce Melanie. (Trivia: Melanie’s full name is Melanie Safka)

Musical number, “Cyclone” (Safka) (Melanie)

(commercial break)

Musical number, “Beautiful Noise.” (Diamond) (Carol)

Dissolve to:

(Note: The following sketch was cut from the version of this episode that aired on TV Land in June, 1998)

Carol narrates a parody sketch based on the story of Pinnochio. Alice appears as an old woman by the name of Apple Annie. Peter enters as Pinnochio, the wooden boy/son carved by Apple Annie. He makes a wish to be a real boy. His Fairy Godmother promises his wish will be granted once he proves himself worthy.

Merill appears as Stromboli, famous motion picture director, and persuades Pinnochio to make a movie. Apple Annie warns Pinnochio not to tell a lie or his nose will grow. Greg and Marcia appear as classic, self-absorbed Hollywood movie stars Lance Lust and Leena Malemauler. Pinnochio is cast as a guard to the Tomb of Sousa in the movie “Curse of the Mummy’s Camel”. Lance and Leena act out a melodramatic scene. Apple Annie interrupts the filming, and Pinnochio becomes a real boy when he risks his life to save his mother from a death dart being shot at Lance by Leena. Pinnochio’s metal armor deflects the dart and saves the day. Now that Pinnochio is a real boy, he asks Apple Annie for the keys to her car so he can Ease On Down the Road.

Musical number, “Ease on Down the Road” (Smalls) (Alice, Peter, Greg, Marcia, Merrill)

Peter, Marcia and Greg introduce the finale of movie songs:

“That’s Entertainment” (Dietz/Schwartz) (Mike & Carol)
“Pinball Wizard” (Townshend) (Greg and Brady Kids)
“Pink Panther Theme” (Mancini) (Instrumental) (Note: This was cut from the version that aired on TV Land in June, 1998)
“For All We Know” (Wilson/Karlin/James) (Carol)
“Live and Let Die” (McCartney/McCartney) (Brady Kids)
“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” (Sherman/Sherman) (Merrill, Alice & Rich Little)
“Over the Rainbow” (Harburg/Arlen) (Melanie)
“That’s Entertainment” (Schwartz/Dietz) (all)

(Commercial break)

The Bradys are glad Rich Little got his memory back, and joke about Mike’s greying hair. The guests are thanked for appearing. Bobby thanks Jack’s Pool Service, because without him there would be green gunk all over the pool. Carol is grossed out. The Bradys say goodnight.

The Bradys sing “United We Stand.” (Hiller/Simmons)

Episode 4

This Episode Guide written by Tony Hill (used by permission)
Air Date:March 21, 1977
Taped:February 24-25, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Guests:Charo, the Hudson Brothers, Rip Taylor

Synopsis:
Opening number, “Toot Toot Tootsie” (Kahn/Erdman/Russo/Fiorito) (all)

The Bradys discuss whether they’re any better than average and whether Mike can even sing.

(Commercial break)

Merrill introduces a mystery guest. It’s Charo. Merrill tells her he had Spanish ancestors, but they were travel agents. Charo is soon infuriated.

Dissolve to:

Charo plays “Malaguena” (Banks/Lecuona) on the guitar.

Dissolve to:

Marcia protests the treatment of Mike in the opening. She introduces this sketch:

Carol rehearses singing while the kids rehearse a dance number. Mike comes home. They discuss their various talents. Merrill shows up singing. Carol tells him to butt out. Mike says he hired Merrill to help him with his singing. No one in the family will help Mike.

(Commercial break)

Mike is on the soundstage practicing guitar. Charo enters and complains about being misunderstood by English speakers. Mike shows her his guitar work. She thinks it’s a joke. She offers to help. They try “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face.” Carol and Mr. Merrill peek around a piece of scenery and spy Charo with her arms around Mike, Carol is very upset and jealous.

Dissolve to:

Musical number, “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word” (Taupin/John) (Carol)

(Commercial break)

Marcia does the bumper.

(Commercial break)

Bobby and Cindy introduce the following sketch: Carol and Alice are resentful of Charo’s involvement. The kids are surprised to learn Mike’s fraternizing with Charo. Charo and Mike show up. Dinner is particularly uncomfortable. Carol tells Charo she’s not a jealous wife, but threatens mayhem anyhow. Mike says they’d better cancel their duet. Mike and Carol discuss the situation.

Dissolve to:

Musical number, “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face” (Lerner/Loewe) (Mike)

(Commercial break)

Musical number, “Strike Up the Band” (Gershwin/Gershwin), “Seventy-Six Trombones” (Wilson) (Mike, Carol, Greg, Marcia, Peter)

Dissolve to:

Carol narrates “Cindy Ella,” a sketch starring Charo with Merrill as one of her ugly stepsisters. Other Bradys also play in this parody of “Cinderella.” Merill is dressed in drag as the Ugly Stepsister.

Dissolve to:

Fearing Greg’s moves, Peter whines at Greg but is pushed into the pool anyway. Greg then introduces the Hudson Brothers.

Musical number, “Disco Queen” (Hudson Brothers)

(Commercial break)

The Bradys discuss their finale about “Places.” Carol slaps Peter across his face for mimicking her.

“Chicago” (Fisher) (Mike & Carol)
“California Dreamin'” (Phillips/Gillian/Phillips) (Marcia & Brady Kids)
“Back Home Again in Indiana” (Hanley/MacDonald) (Carol)
NOTE: Florence Henderson is a native of Indiana
“Do You Know the Way to San Jose” (David/Bacharach) (Brady Girls)
“San Francisco” (Kahn/Jurmann/Kaper) (Mike & Carol)
“Philadelphia Freedom” (Taupin/John) (Greg, Hudson Brothers)
“America” (Sondheim/Bernstein) (Charo)
“Big D” (Loesser) (Alice and Merrill)
“America” (Sondheim/Bernstein) (all)

(Commercial break)

The Bradys say goodnight.

The Bradys sing “United We Stand” (Hiller/Simmons)

Episode 3

This Episode Guide written by Tony Hill (used by permission)

Air Date:March 4, 1977
Taped:February 8-9, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Guests:Vincent Price, Rip Taylor, H.R. Pufnstuf, Kiki Bird
Also appearing:Van Snowden, Sharon Baird, The Krofftettes and Water Follies

Synopsis:
Opening number, “Sunny Side Up” (DeSylva/Brown/Henderson) (all) (Note: The traditional high dive during the water follies segment was cut from the version of this episode airing on TV Land)

Greeting sketch in which Greg tries to take the lead but is rebuffed; Greg announces he shaves more than anyone in the whole family.

(Commerical break)

Musical number, “It’s Not Where You Start” (Fields/Coleman) (all)

Dissolve to:

Carol and some of the kids introduce a sketch which contains a crisis which confronted the family: Marcia, Bobby, Cindy & Peter annoy Greg while the latter tries to compose a song. Carol & Alice return home with take-out food, “corn and cluck for twenty-two bucks.” Greg announces he’s moving out. Carol is less than happy. Merrill, acting as Greg’s broker, shows up to tell Greg about an apartment. Mike is furious with Merrill. Greg agrees to rent the apartment sight unseen.

(Commerical break)

Marcia introduces the next sketch:

Merrill shows Greg the broken-down apartment. It has a sofa with a leg missing. “For your posture,” says Merrill. Someone knocks. “He who holds the key to this chamber, prepare to receive me within,” comes the voice from the hall. The guest is surprised to find that Merrill and Greg are still warm. He claims to be investigating a ghost. They realize he’s Vincent Price. Price insists Greg is a ghost named Binky Beaumont. Merrill leaves in a hurry. Price relates the story of Zelda Myzkowski, who was pecked silly by an oversized cuckoo in her clock. He warns Greg not to kill any flies.

Dissolve to:

Carol anxiously awaits a call from Greg. He calls with his new number: 321-1321. Peter lobbies to get Greg’s room. Cindy says he’s being gross. Mike agrees, “Yes, Peter. Very gross.”
(Note: This was cut from the version that aired on TV Land in June, 1998.)

Dissolve to:

Musical Number, Carol sings “Traces” (Buie/Cobb/Gordy) to a photograph of the Bradys. In another part of the screen, Greg sings “All by Myself” (Carmen).

(Commercial break)

Alice narrates the bumper: “Stay tuned for the second half of ‘The Brady Bunch Hour.” If you’re watching backwards, stay tuned for the first half.”

(Commerical break)

Mike introduces the next sketch:

Carol laments that all the children will soon be gone. She calls to check on Greg. Mike suggests calling the discos. Greg shows up. Carol is nervous. Greg regrets moving out in such a hurry. He suggests he might move back home. Peter is unhappy about not getting Greg’s room. (Note: The dialouge about Peter not getting Greg’s room was edited out in the version shown on TV Land in June 1998, perhaps because its bookend earlier in the show was also edited out.)

Dissolve to:

Peter trips over Greg and falls into the pool. Peter introduces H. R. Pufnstuf, proving you can speak underwater.

Musical Number, “Celebration.” (Pufnstuf)

(Commercial break)

Alice introduces Marcia as a singer having graduated from the shower:

Marcia sings “Time in a Bottle” (Croce)
(Note: This was cut from the version that aired on TV Land in June, 1998)

Dissolve to:

Merrill introduces the next sketch:

The Bradys are having a party to welcome Greg back. Merrill shows up. Carol returns with a lock for Greg’s room. Bobby skateboards through. Merrill drops Greg’s key into the cake. Greg returns and is surprised by the party. Bobby crashes into Alice and is covered with cake. He finds the key.

(Commerical break)

The Bradys discuss their musical finale about happiness. Greg suggests music as the cause of happiness, while Bobby opts for money, Peter for girls, and Marcia for love.

“I Want to Be Happy” (Caesar/Youmans) (Mike & Carol)
“You’ve Made Me So Very Happy” (Gordy/Holloway/Holloway/Wilson) (Greg)
“Make Someone Happy” (Comden/Green/Styne) (Carol)
“Happy Together” (Bonner/Gordon) (Jan et al)
“Put on a Happy Face” (Adams/Strouse) (Mike & Carol, Alice & Merrill)
“Happy Days” (Gimbel/Fox) (all)

(Commerical break)

The Bradys discuss their separation and reconciliation and say goodnight.

The Bradys sing “United We Stand” (Hiller/Simmons)

Episode 2

This Episode Guide written by Tony Hill (used by permission)

Air Date:February 27, 1977
Taped:February 17-18, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Guests:Milton Berle, Rip Taylor, Tina Turner
Also appearing:Van Snowden, Larry Larson, Pat Reimer, The Krofftettes and Water Follies

Synopsis:
Opening number, “Hooray for Hollywood” (Mercer/Whiting) (all)

Greeting sketch in which Bobby complains that the show’s comedy stinks.

(Commercial break)

Musical Number, “Make ‘Em Laugh” (Brown/Freed) (Mike, Carol, Greg, Marcia, Peter)

Alice & Merrill tell some very bad jokes.

Musical number, Reprise of “Make ‘Em Laugh” (Brown/Freed) (Alice, Merrill)

(Commerical break)

Musical number, “Sing” (Raposo) (Colette the Puppet, Peter)

Dissolve to:

Bobby laments Peter’s singing and the family’s lack of comedy. He then mashes a cream pie into his own face and introduces the following sketch:

Alice and Merrill play with the CB radio. Bobby complains that the show isn’t funny. Alice has reservations about the show’s humor. Mike and Carol and Alice step out to the beach. Bobby hears Milton Berle hamming it up on the CB radio. Merrill talks to Berle using the handle “Blond Bombshell” and warns Bobby he’ll smack him if he tells anyone. Bobby asks Berle to be on the show. Berle is excited and says he’ll be right over.

(Commercial break)

Berle does the bumper.

(Commerical break)

Merrill introduces the next sketch:

The kids wait for Berle to arrive. Berle shows up. The kids explain they have a show on ABC. Mike and Carol come in and are surprised to find “Uncle Miltie” in their living room. Berle agrees to write for the show. The family agrees to take Berle on. Berle gets to work on the script. He coaches the family on their vocal performances.

Dissolve to:

Berle introduces the opening to the “All-New Milton Berle Brady Bunch Hour.” The family reprises “Hooray for Hollywood.” They next perform a lame comedy sketch. The family protests. Anyone who says “makeup” gets hit in the face with a powder puff. Berle decides the act isn’t working.

(Commerical break)

Greg decides not to push Peter into the pool. Peter sees Greg coming and jumps in anyway. Greg introduces Tina Turner.

Musical number, “Rubber Band Man.” (Creed/Bell) (Tina Turner)

Dissolve to:

Mike tells the audience how bad the show was under Berle. He introduces this sketch:

Mike tells Bobby to fire Berle. Berle shows up. Everyone but Bobby and Berle leaves. Bobby tells Berle his humor doesn’t fit the Bradys. Berle says they’re giving him the pink slip. Bobby deadpans that they’re giving him all the costumes back. Berle praises Bobby and the Bradys. Berle leaves. He laments his dismissal and returns the door with cigarettes stuck up his nose.

Dissolve to:

Musical number, “Evergreen” (Williams/Streisand) (Carol)

(Commerical break)

Peter introduces the finale:

“Catch a Falling Star” (Vance/Pockriss) (Carol & Mike)
“You Don’t Have to Be a Star” (Dean/Glover) (Jan & Greg)
“You Are My Lucky Star” (Brown/Freed) (Carol)
“Everybody Is a Star” (Stewart) (all)
“Don’t Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes” (Willet) (Berle, Carol, and Tina Turner)
“Good Morning Starshine” (Rado/Ragni/MacDermott) (all)
“Shining Star” (White/Bailey/Dunn) (Greg et al)

(Commercial break) a promo for “The Brady Bunch Hour” #3 ran during this break

The Bradys say goodnight. Carol thanks the audience for demanding the special episode coming up the following Friday.

The Bradys sing “United We Stand” (Hiller/Simmons)

Episode 1

Air Date:January 23, 1977
Taped:January 18-19, 1977 at KTLA Studios
Guests:Lee Majors, Farrah Fawcett-Majors, Kaptain Kool and the Kongs, Rip Taylor
Also appearing:Van Snowden, The Krofftettes and Water Follies
Synopsis:
Opening number, “Yankee Doodle Dandy” (Cohan) (all); Peter doesn’t know which way is up or down.

Greeting sketch welcoming everyone to the new show, new year (1977), and new President (Jimmy Carter). Bobby and Cindy bicker while Peter wishes he had two new girlfriends. Carol is excited about moving into the family’s new house, and then explains that the show is on just once a month.

(Commerical break)

The Bradys arrive at their new house but find the furniture missing. Alice surprises the family with sleeping bags for everyone. Mr.Merrill, of “Merrill’s Movers”, shows up with some furniture, but it does not belong to the Bradys. Mr. Merrill discovers he has moved himself out of his own house. He promises to have their furniture delivered the next day.

Dissolve to:

Musical number, “Razzle Dazzle” (Ebb/Kander) (all)

(Commercial break)

Marcia sits in the livingroom playing with her dolls, but insists to Alice that she is a grown up. All Marcia needs is her Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion, and Toto. Alice says she can only keep one of them but the rest have got to go. Marcia assures Toto that Alice is just being “witchy”.

Dissolve to:

Musical number, “Car Wash” (Whitfield) (Alice, Marcia, Greg, Peter, Merrill)

Jan addresses the audience, but becomes nervous and calls Peter for help. Peter explains that the Bradys now have their furniture and to come see what happened next.

Dissolve to:

Mike is hanging a picture above the fireplace. Bobby says it’s crummy. Mike announces that the Bradys are officially moved into their new house and for all the kids to go to bed. They protest. Alice explains that their father wants to be alone with their mother and hussles them away. Mike and Carol’s romantic evening is interrupted by the doorbell, it is Mr. Merrill. Mike and Carol are very annoyed. Mr. Merrill explains that before they bought the house, he rented the property to a very nice couple for that week and introduces Lee Majors and his wife, Farrah Fawcett. After some arguing with Mr. Merrill, Mike and Carol learn that the couple has no place to stay now and allow them to sleep in the livingroom.

(Commerical break)

Carol welcomes everyone back to the second half of the show, and invites the audience to find out what happend when Lee Majors and Farrah Fawcett came to stay at the house.

Dissolve to:

The next morning, Lee and Farrah are sound asleep in the Brady’s livingroom. Cindy comes out, sees the two celebreties. She drags the rest of the Brady kids out of bed and the boys gravitate to Farrah while the girls drool over Lee. Farrah wakes up and is startled by the boys surrounding her, Lee is equally surprised by his fans. Mike and Carol awake and explain the situation to the kids. Alice is spellbound by Lee, who returns her admiration with a passionate kiss.

Dissolve to:

Marcia, Bobby, and Cindy attempt to warm-up the audience to the new actress playing Jan (replacing Eve Plumb) with glowing accolades about her sensational singing. They explain that they love her a lot.

Musical number, “Your Song” (Taupin/John) (Jan)

Marcia, Bobby and Cindy smother Jan with hugs and kisses immediately following.

(Commercial break)

Musical number, “Send in the Clowns” (Sondheim) (Carol, Marcia, Greg, Mike)

Dissolve to:

Greg attempts to introduce Kaptain Kool and the Kongs, but is annoyed by Peter flirting with one of the Kroft Water Follies. Greg pushes Peter into the pool.

Dissolve to:

Musical number, “Names” (Kaptain Kool and the Kongs)

Dissolve to:

Mike is confused by the stage setting for the Finale and asks Carol whether they are doing a tribute to Valentines Day or vital organs. Carol explains that theme surrounds young and old songs about hearts.

“You’ve Gotta Have Heart” (Adler/Ross) (kids)
“Heart and Soul” (Carmichael) (Mike & Carol)
“Happy Heart” (Rae/Last) (all)
“Heart of My Heart” (Mack) (Mike & Carol)
“Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart” (Taupin/John) (Kaptain Kool and the Kongs)
“How Do You Mend A Broken Heart” (Green) (Carol)
“Heartbeat, It’s A Lovebeat” (Hudspeth/Kennedy) (all)

(Commerical break)

The Bradys say goodnight.

The Bradys sing “United We Stand” (Hiller/Simmons)